I love cooking and getting recipes from the internet. However, I HATE reading food blogs. Every single food blog is some lady going on about her husband and kids. "This recipe is GREAT for your picky eaters. Let me tell you in at least 5 paragraphs about how my husband hates vegetables and how I trick him into eating them; because I treat him the same way I treat my children- passive aggressively." Every food blog does this! Look, I don't care about your family. Just give me the fucking recipe and tips on how to make it.
So, am I going to make a food blog that is JUST about food and pointers on how to easily prepare it?
In the spirit of forcing people to scroll through mind numbing drivel to get to the recipes, I am going to post whatever pops into my brain- most of which will probably have nothing to do with food. But I promise that my posts will NEVER reference my husband or my kids- because I have neither. I will talk about my cat, though. A lot. Just an unreasonable amount about my cat. Because, unlike most people's kids, he's ADORABLE!
How often can you expect a posting from me? Probably not that often. I have exactly one idea for this blog right now. It'll probably turn into more ideas- but since I'm not going to make any money, and it's probably only going to be read by 5 people I'm not that worried about it. I'll make sure to shamelessly promote every single posting when I actually create them.
Without further ado, here is the recipe everyone has been scrolling down for (and will be bitterly disappointed by).
Peanut butter and Jelly Sandwich
Ingredients:
2 tbsp peanutbutter
2 tbsp jelly/jam/preserves
2 pieces of bread
Instructions:
Start with the two (2) pieces of bread. This can be any bread- wheat if you're uncreative, white if you're from the 50s, gluten-free if you're annoying, etc.
Next, slather that peanut butter on both those slices. I personally prefer the natural crunchy peanut butter- the kind where the oil separates and you have to stir it- because I like to know that I've earned my peanut butter. That, and it's just peanuts and salt. Waaaaaay better than the brands that use unpronounceable chemicals.
to it being 'creamy' and not 'crunchy'
After you've applied the peanut butter (otherwise known as doing God's work), add the jelly or jam or preserves to it. Some people like to put peanut butter on one piece of bread, and jelly on the other piece. I want to be clear about something. Those people are WRONG. You need peanut butter on both sides.
Smoosh the two pieces of bread together, and BLAMO! You've got yourself a sandwich!
This concludes the first ever entry to this blog. If you feel kind of cheated- sorry. It literally only took me 15 minutes to write this thing. Will I post recipes that you might actually be interested in? It's a surprise! Stay tuned for more!
*Just a note, I need to give credit for my blog's name- it is a line from a spoken word poem by Jonathan Richman of the same title (only he writes it as I Eat with Gusto, Damn! You Bet!). It's pretty awesome and should be checked out.*
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