Bison Tacos (also: Darn those Dastardly Derivatives Part 2)

Welcome back! This is part 2 of the Dastardly Derivatives series, where I lure you in with the promise of explanations of cooking to further my liberal agenda. To recap (even though you should go back and read the post so I can collect those sweet sweet clicks)- I explained the central ideology of Ayn Rand as being anti-any kind of regulation on financial markets (this is the nicest way I have EVER explained her philosophy). Then I threw Alan Greenspan's name in there and quickly changed the subject. Well, now it's time to delve into Greenspan's part in crashing the economy. 

The most important thing that you need to know about Alan Greenspan is that he was an ardent student of Ayn Rand. She was even there when he was sworn into his position at the White House.

Gross.

When he became Chairman of the Federal Reserve, he was surrounded himself with like minded people- the most notable being Larry Summers and Robert Rubin. The thing to remember about these men is that they are Market True Believers. They took the Randian philosophy of the "separation of Market and State" to its extremes- as true believers are apt to do. Remember learning about the great crash of 1929? The one that resulted in The Great Depression? When that happened, a series of regulations were put onto the stock market to prevent that from happening again. Well, those 3 guys (with the backing of many others that stood to gain an obscene amount of money) decided to take those regulations away. Because, what's the worse that could happen?!

Time Magazine had one idea;

Reality had another.

Now, these men weren't idiots. They were experts in finance and made gobs of money because of their knowledge. So what happened? Because they didn't benefit from the crash- not many people did (some hedge funds made a killing off of the world's misery- but that's another topic that may or may not ever materialize on this blog). Why didn't they see this coming? There were plenty of warnings from other incredibly smart people. The answer is that they BELIEVED. They had complete faith in the lassiez faire approach to the market- in spite of the lack of evidence that it had any long-term systemic benefits. 

For those of you who do not know what lassiez faire economics is- here's a quick run down. People who subscribe to this thought process believe that the financial markets are inherently rational entities that will behave predictably given a long enough time line- and therefore should be left alone to run their course. If any fraudulent behavior happens, the natural progression of consequences will eventually resolve the issue. 

Let's really examine this. First of all, financial markets consist of people- emotional, messy, irrational human beings that are buying and selling goods in order to make money. That alone debunks the validity of the lassiez faire approach. A larger system is only a reflection of all the moving parts inside, and there's nothing more sloppy than people. But, let's go deeper into this- because it's not just about people- it's also about money.

So, let's consider the concept of money. Money is a construct that we created in order to make the trade of goods easier. Money has no inherent value other than that which we give it. I'm sure you heard that it costs more to make a penny than a penny is worth. How ridiculous is that? And don't fancy math me with tales of inflation and all the needlessly complex value scales that we created around the money construct. Regardless of interest rates and inflation/deflation and whatever other plethora of variables that we plug into the equation- money is only worth what we say it's worth. All of us, as a global society, got together and decided to imbue pieces of paper and little discs of metal with value in order to quantify our labor into buying power.

Why am I deconstructing this? First of all, I'm trying to show how clearly NOT rational any of this is. The financial systems that we have been engaging in are so irrationally complex that a relatively small amount of people can destroy millions of other people's monetary savings within seconds. When Greenspan and Co. decided to lift the regulatory safe guards against fraudulent activity, a slew of savvy financial firms took advantage of the fact that most people who invest their life savings are unaware of 99% of what really happens on the trading floor. Therefore, there's little to no accountability, and even less recourse when every last penny disappears. The market cannot "self correct" if the people who would do the correcting are too poor to make it happen.

Second, I want to illustrate the dangers of true believers. We're so used to hearing about terrorists and religious cults that we don't see the far more perilous belief systems of those who put their faith in money. Alan Greenspan, Larry Summers, and Robert Rubin believed so completely that the market was rational and self correcting that they ignored pretty much all of history and logical argument in order to maintain that belief. They were lauded by the media as "The Committee to Save the World" because they sold their religion so completely that almost all institutions of influence bought in. And for their absolute faith, our world collapsed.

Here's a picture of Momo showing 

me his belly to help ease the 

sense of hopelessness. 

Pretty heavy stuff for a 3rd post on a humor blog, I know. I never promised that I would ALWAYS make you laugh. I live to break expectations. Hopefully, this was at least interesting enough that you all are willing to read part 3 where I ACTUALLY explain derivatives (as much as I can). Anyway, let's change up the mood and talk tacos!!!

Bison Tacos

Ingredients:

small tortillas

ground bison

shredded cheese

bell peppers- julienne  

red onion- julienne

garlic

chili powder

cumin

cayenne pepper

chipotle powder

taco seasoning- optional

olive oil- 2 tbsp

Pico de Gallo:

6-10 roma tomatos

1/3 red onion

cilantro

1-2 jalepaneos  

1-2 cloves of garlic

1/2 lime

1/3 cucumber 

sea salt to taste

Chipotle Sauce:

canned chipotle in adobo sauce

sour cream

garlic powder

spritz of lime juice

This is a pretty easy meal to make. In fact, it feels pretty silly to explain how to make tacos- you cook the thing with the other things and you get edible food. I mean, come on, you've done this before. But, this is a food blog, so I will write it out for everyone.

This picture is literally all the

 instructions you should need for this meal

Meat:

Cook your bison and add your spices. Notice how I didn't give you any measurements? That's because it's all up to your taste. If you need someone to tell you how to make to make your food taste good to you- maybe it's time to consider take-out. Forever. 

Peppers and onion:

Heat up the olive oil on a medium to medium-high heat- toss your julienned (See that fancy food speak? Legit.) veggies in said oil until cooked. I personally enjoy a slight char on my peppers- but it's up to you.

Pico de Gallo:

Dice all your veggies, toss them in a bowl, add lime juice and salt. That's it. Careful not to get too crazy with the onion and garlic. The longer this sits the stronger the flavor. Unless you enjoy being "that guy" at your home or place of employment, then have at (I'm totally that guy, btw).

Pico.

Chipotle sauce:

Mix adobo sauce, garlic, and spritz of lime juice (you really don't need much) with sour cream. Again, I didn't give you any measurements on this because it's up to your taste. Lots of adobo will up the intensity of the heat as well as the flavor. 

Take all these elements and throw them on a tortilla and you have instant happiness. I have never had a bad bison taco night. It's all fresh ingredients + pure joy= forgetting all about the financial markets.

Markets Schmarkets

For those of you who are still reading, I appreciate your support! I'm sure being lectured at isn't exactly what you thought you were signing up for 2 posts ago. But, hopefully I continue to gain your 'likes' and your 'shares' and other internet currency that helps me get noticed. 

Stayed tuned for the thrilling conclusion of the Dastardly Derivatives!

For a little extra fun (for me), here's Last Week Tonight's far superior take down of Ayn Rand. Enjoy!